i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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