last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize