dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
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He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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