the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
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I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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