Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
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We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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