I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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