Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you had me at cake vodka
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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