I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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