Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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