those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize