NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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