Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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