I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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