I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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