i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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