Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
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Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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