bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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