Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need a beard to bite.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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