Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I want to have your abortion
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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