Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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