If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
50% drunk capacity currently
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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