That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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