Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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