yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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