Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize