Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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