my mouth tastes like poor choices
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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