great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
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How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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