Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
God, I missed his penis.
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