So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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