Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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