To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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