I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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