cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize