remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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