dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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