A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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