he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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