I think I am morally bankrupt
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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