I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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