So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
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The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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