I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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