just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize