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Will you blow on my dice?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
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