Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Will you blow on my dice?

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(248): Will you blow on my dice? http://tfl.nu/qi0r

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(805): View more from California

guess who came home with a hottie last night

(1-805): View more from California

Def drugged

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(805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c

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(251): View more from Alabama

Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.

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(251): Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester. http://tfl.nu/tcd3

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.

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(410): I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot. http://tfl.nu/03m3

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does

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(617): I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does http://tfl.nu/o8tg

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(773): View more from Illinois

I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

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(773): I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit http://tfl.nu/6wkt

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(703): View more from Virginia

the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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(703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa

Replies (23) Good night (4334) Bad night (1213)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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(732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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(413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu

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(646): View more from New York

I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?

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(646): I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10? http://tfl.nu/6lgd

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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(570): Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied. http://tfl.nu/2f2b

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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(+44): The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid http://tfl.nu/ks5z

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.

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(201): I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part. http://tfl.nu/8mau

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her

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(865): He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her http://tfl.nu/a25x

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(613): View more from Ontario

I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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(613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv

Replies (5) Good night (547) Bad night (408)

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