in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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