Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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