I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize