no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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