I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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