Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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